Picking it Apart
by Rhenn
Summary: Axel's life has been going downhill since his breakup with Demyx, so when he meets Roxas, he sees the connection between them. As he and Axel grow closer, Roxas becomes confused about his sexuality and relationship with Axel, who WAS just a friend...
1. Intro

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts II or the characters mentioned. Yeah. My disclaimer sucks D. So anyways yeah. Kingdom Hearts II and all their little buddies belong to Disney…

Axel slammed his hand on the counter in frustration, knowing that in about ten minutes his bones were going to be screaming at him in pain. He _hated_ days like this. For one, it was raining. Rain sucked. It reminded his too much of the past; called back memories he didn't want to remember… Two, it was half-past nine, and he was hungry. Hell, he was _starving._ He hadn't eaten for about forty hours—which was definitely a sign he was slowly going down the drain. Ever since last month, when Demyx…

He pushed the thought roughly from his head by slamming his fist, yet again, on the countertop. Cursing from the impact, he shook his hand until his wrist popped and he sighed. But the pain couldn't stop another thought from zapping his brain, sending him spinning into the past month like he was on the Tilt-A-Whirl.

Being in a relationship with a close friend was supposed to be fulfilling, right? Then why had Demyx decided, after years of knowing each other and two dating, to end it? Axel had been great, he knew that… he'd been supportive when Demyx wanted to quit his job and start music; whenever his car had issues, Axel drove out to fix it; he went to all Demy's shows, paid the rent, watched the apartment whenever he had a tour…

It didn't seem right that he just wanted to break up. So when he said it, out of the blue…

"You're kidding, right? Don't kid me baby, you know I can't recognize sarcasm." Axel smiled and turned towards the blonde, cocking his head.

"No, Axel… I'm not. I just…my music is taking me places, man. And you can't be those places…" He cleared his throat nervously.

"What are you talking about? I go to all your shows." Axel's eyebrow rose.

"Yeah, local gigs." Demyx muttered, wrapping his arm around the back of the couch as he turned to his partner.

"Sometimes it's hard to get off work, you know that." Axel's voice started to whine.

"Don't start with work, man. I know that there's crap you go to all the time for other people." Demy's seafoam eyes lowered to slits a Axel's tone. He didn't like it when Axel started talking like that. Made him sound like a baby.

"What other people? There's only you!" The red-head threw his hands in the air, confused and starting to grow angry. He couldn't believe this was happening… not like this…

"Look, Axel…" Demyx took a long, slow breath and Axel waited, his leg bouncing lightly from a mixture of anger and nervousness. "I don't want to… I _have_ to."

"That's bull, Demy. Straight-up _bull_." Axel threw himself off the couch at that instant, pacing in front of it like a caged animal.

"No, man… It's not like I want to do this. It's a matter of my career—don't you want me to make it big? Go Hollywood?"

"Ye, of course I do!" Axel put a hand on his hip and pivoted to face the other man. "Demy… All I want is for you to be happy… I want you to succeed…"

"Then we need to break this off… or it won't happen."

"Why won't it happen?! I don't see how being _us_ affects anything!" Axel turned back around and marched to the counter. He leaned against the cold surface, his face in his hands. He felt a soft touch on his lower back.

"Axel… Hollywood… the fans… they can't know this about me."

Axel dropped his hands. "What?" He whispered, his voice low. "Know what? That you're in a relationship?" He began to raise his voice. "That you're a heartbreaker? What?!"

Demyx was quiet for a moment before he calmly stated: "That I'm with a guy. That I'm with _you_."

Axel's eyes widened. No. Fucking. Way. "You did _not_…"

Demyx lowered his gaze. "Hollywood won't accept that Axel… that's why…"

"You fucking _bastard_!" Axel yelled, turning directly towards Demxy and popping him in the mouth with his fist. "That is _not_ a valid reason. _Never_." He spat, looking at the cut he had made; the already puffing bottom lip he loved to kiss.

Demyx touched his lip; when he pulled it away he saw his fingertips lightly brushed with crimson blood. His eyes closed. "Out."

"What?" Axel asked, not believing him. Sure, he had just punched him, but they'd done much worse to each other…

"_Out_." Axel's face hardened, knowing the situation was serious. He looked into Demyx's eyes for a moment, feeling the friction pass between them, the turned and left, not looking back. He thought it as going to pass over, that Demyx would see how much he needed him…but it never did.

And now, Axel was alone. So, so…alone…

Axel turned so his back was against the counter and slid down, grateful for the support. He was losing it, remembering that moment a month ago like it was yesterday…feeling those same emotions and hearing Demyx's voice in his head repeating that one word.

_Out._

His phone buzzed and he groaned, not wanting any more voices in his head. Pulling it out of his pocket with some difficulty, he glanced at the ID. He rolled his eyes, but flipped it open and barked roughly into the phone.

"Larxene, what do you want?"

The woman's voice was stern "Don't talk to me like that, Axel." She sounded dangerous… and man, was she loud. Axel pulled the phone away from his ear about two inches as she continued. "Get dressed. We're going to the club."

"I'm busy—I can't tonight."

"Fuck that. I know you're free. Now get ready. We'll be there in five." The phone clicked and she was gone. Axel glared it before snapping it shut. _Bitch_. He thought, closing his eyes and dropping his head behind him. It hit the counter with a dull thud. As if he wanted to spend tonight with her. Or any of their friends. He just wanted to sit here, curl up… maybe if he did that, he could disappear for a while…

A loud knock sounded on the door and he cursed. That was _not_ five minutes. When the knock persisted, and grew louder, Axel pulled himself from the floor with a grunt and shuffled to the door. He thrust it open, a glare souring his face, and let the blonde woman in. She returned the look. "We're meeting Xaldin there." She scanned his tall, lean frame. "Why aren't you dressed?"

Axel smiled grimly, trying to push her out the door. "I'm wearing clothes, aren't I?"

Larxene scoffed, blowing a fly hair out of her face. It drifted back and she glared. "Whatever. Get a jacket." She jingled her keys. Axel rolled his eyes. He _really_ didn't want to go out tonight.


	2. The Club, the Fight, and the Bathroom

Disclaimer: I do not own these people. Or their source, Kingdom Hearts. I wish I did… hey wait! I own an Axel doll! Does that count? O.o No… I guess not… T.T

The club smelled like sweat, sex, and alcohol; the mixture bit at Axel's eyes and nose as he followed behind Larxene, seeing easily over her head into the dimly lit building. He didn't like going out now, especially to this place…but it was better than standing out in the rain.

"Hey, Porcupine! Get your ass over here!" A rough voice called from his right. Axel titled his head that way, trying to pick out where the voice was coming from without looking. When the voice called again, with he same line, he looked over. Xigbar stood a few feet from the bar, holding up about four beers, his face already flushed. Axel sighed. Next to him were Luxord and Xaldin, their faces turned towards the flushed Xigbar. Larxene put her hand to her face, obviously embarrassed by the sight of them.

"God…" Larxene moaned into her hand. "Why can't I have mature friends?" She dropped her hand as Xaldin called out her, motioning with his hands to join them. She sighed and pulled Axel along by his sleeve, who didn't resist much. It was better just to get the night over with, and drink so much he'd forget why he was hurting so badly inside.

The music pumped across from the bar, the bass so deep Axel could feel it in his gut. It made him sick, made him remember Demyx's shows…

"Hey Axel, want a drink?" Xigbar asked, throwing himself down next to the redhead. Axel nodded and took the fullest glass possible out of the four, throwing it back easily. As the alcohol hit his throat, he knew it wasn't strong enough; he needed something to make him forget…

"Hey Cyclops—do me a favor and get me a scotch, true?"

Xigbar raised his eyebrow, but got up and swaggered to the bar. Axel held back a snort of laughter. Yeah. Xiggy was drunk. He glanced up and scanned the club, watching the people dance. They all moved so fluid-like, their bodies matching the music in perfect harmony. The only ugly thing about this place was the fact that he and Demyx used to-

No. He wasn't going to think about that. It was done. Over. His throat jerked. Over. As his eyes grew hot, tears welling up, Xigbar came back with a shot of scotch. Axel snatched it quickly and threw it back, not only to feel the hard liquor hit his empty stomach but to hide the oncoming tears. Xigbar returned to his remaining drinks. Axel slammed down the glass, staring at the empty shot with a look of pure hatred. _People shouldn't be able to feel like this._ He thought, watching a small droplet of liquor drip down from the rim to the bottom. He gathered it with his finger, slowly, and brought it to his lips. He'd never been so desperate for alcohol in his life.

"Axel."

He cocked his head to his left, getting an eyeful of shaggy blonde face and weathered eyes. "Sup Luxord?"

The man cleared his throat. "You, uh… You ok?"

Axel shifted slightly and looked back as his empty glass. He smiled emptily, but his emerald eyes were distant. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Luxord grunted, not believing the younger man at all. Still, he shrugged, and returned to his respected drink, his eyes slipping over the crowd.

Silence hit Axel like an anvil. Sure, the music was bumping, there was screaming everywhere, and the sound of the bodies in front of them was enough to make any man sweat, but Axel was gone, lost in his glass. He faintly heard the voice of Larxene to his right, but nothing registered until one question smacked his ears.

"Hey, isn't that Demyx?"

Xaldin, his long dreds hanging over his shoulders, nodded towards the other side of the bar. Axel hastily looked in all directions before focusing on the tall blonde, only yards away.

He was smiling, the bastard. Axel was sitting here, losing himself to a world of bitterness, and Demyx was laughing it up with—

"Who's that girl he's with?"

"He's with Zexion too."

Axel wasn't paying attention to voices now; he didn't care who said what. His eyes were glued to Demyx, to his smile…to the way he was dressed, to his shocking seafoam eyes. He soaked him in, hoping he would look his way…

"_Fuck_, Axel…" He faintly heard Xaldin's voice behind him, distant considering the proximity. He felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked, refocusing on his empty glass. "Look, Axel… you need a refill?"

Axel nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah. Yeah, I do." His shoulder was patted roughly and the weight of Xaldin's hand lifted. Larxene's voice drifted into Axel's ears from behind. He couldn't move his eyes from the glass. If that happened, he would look at Demyx again… something would trigger…

"Hey… you gonna talk to him? Because I'm sure he'd _love_ that, considering the way he's having such a wonderful time now. You'd only add to his bliss."

The word _bitch_ jumped back into Axel's mind, and he scowled. Larxene laughed and continued. "I'm sure he'd be _ecstatic_ just to see you, Axel. And besides… I know you miss him." She bent at her waist, putting her face inches from Axel's cheek. "I can see it in your eyes." She breathed, taking a deep breath afterwards. "And smell it on your skin. You want him. Go get him."

_If only it was that easy._ Axel thought, jumping slightly as Xaldin set a new glass in front of him. He took the shot, grimacing as the hard liquid churned his stomach and blur his vision. Good. Blurry vision was good…

"Bring the bottle." He choked out, setting the empty glass down. Xaldin shrugged and walked back to the bar. Xigbar stared from across the table. Axel glared at him. "What? You want something?"

Xigbar took a large chug of beer and smiled. "Nah, Spikey. Just wondering how you're gonna pay for that."

Axel shrugged. He wasn't sure himself. He hadn't been eating recently, maybe he could use the money from that. Or maybe he could just shove the bill up Xigbar's ass. Yeah. Sounded good to him. "Fuck you." He said, and roughly snatched the bottle from Xaldin's hands as he came back to the table. He uncorked it and took a swig, his eyes and nose burning from the contact between his tongue and the drink. Slamming it down, he licked his lips. God, the feeling in his head was such a relief from before. Now, he really felt empty. Empty was heaven, compared to being alone. But the voice of Demyx, all the way across the room, still rang in his ears. And his smile… it still haunted his vision.

A few more shots and he'd be perfect.

He threw back another gulp and sighed as his blood slowed. The voices around him grew dim; the music became a dull thump on his body. Finally…peace…

Someone smacked the back of his head. He twisted around, trying to pinpoint his attacker, and glowered as Larxene smiled. She pointed the other way, and he flipped around in his chair, following the line of her finger…

And saw Demyx leaning against the wall, rocking back and forth to the music with a woman on his hips. Anger bubbled inside him, fueled by the scotch, and he stood, throwing his chair behind him. "Yo!" He called, cupping his hands around his mouth. "Demyx!" When the blonde didn't turn, he marched off towards them, one hand trailing along the bar for balance. He was going to be sick soon, he could feel it…

When he reached them, he threw the woman out of the way and pegged Demyx in the face with a rough punch. The blonde staggered, gingerly touching his cheek. "What the hell, Axel?!" He yelled, pushing the redhead back roughly. Axel, his rage peaking, shoved the woman back away as she tried to push her way between them.

"Don't _touch_ him!" Axel yelled, pointing roughly at the woman. "And _you_!" He pivoted towards Demyx. "What the hell, Demyx?! How could you do this?!"

Demyx glared at him. "In case you forgot, we're not together anymore, man."

Axel quivered with rage. The woman managed to step next to Demyx, arms crossed. She looked worriedly at the bruise beginning to darken in his cheek, but Demyx waved it off. He turned back to Axel. "If you don't back off, now, I'm going to punch your face in, man. And believe me—nothing can stop me from that."

Axel stood in place, half frozen from anger and half unable to move from the alcohol churning inside him. Demyx took a deep breath, hoping to God he wouldn't have to hit him, but the other man didn't move. He closed his eyes for a moment, but when he opened them Axel was still there, fuming and looking somewhat sick. Demyx sighed. "Axel. Get out of here…" When he still didn't move, just stood there, Demyx moved swift, hooking the redhead in the jaw with a powerful punch. Axel spun almost ninety degrees to his right, the pain in his face nothing to the re-awoken pain in his heart. Demyx stepped back and motioned to the woman, who followed, and they brushed past the bent Axel to the dance floor.

"God, Demyx…" Axel whispered, feeling the scotch in his stomach churning. His face hurt. He felt sick. He needed… bathroom…He lurched off, throwing open the men's room door and barging into the first stall he saw. Bending over the bowl, he retched until his stomach was empty… which didn't take too long. He groaned mournfully, tears running down his cheeks, his arms and legs weak. _God…Demyx…_His jaw stung every time he sucked in a breath, but it was so hard to stop the tears, to stop the pain that ran throughout his entire body.

A noise behind him stopped every muscle in his body. "Are…Are you ok?" A soft voice asked. Axel's heart rate sped back up. _No…_

"Yeah. I'm fine. Now get the fuck out of here." He pushed his chin to his chest, trying to hide his face from the stranger.

"You don't sound fine. Here…" Axel jerked as hands softly touched his face. "Let me hold your hair. Is that ok?" The hands hurriedly brought his hair back and held it behind his shoulders, barely touching him. Axel's stomach protested the liquor again and he retched, grabbing onto the bowl with sweaty hands. The person holding his hair moved his other hand to Axel's back. Axel froze again until another spasm shook his frame, sending his face back to the bowl. The hand began rubbing his back, slowly, in circles. "Shh…" The guy murmured, trying to sound comforting. Axel's eyes closed. "It's ok. It'll be over soon."

_God, I hope not._ Axel thought, his skin prickling as the soft touch continued.


	3. Raindrops and Reasons Why

Demyx was a walking pit of anger as he stalked out of the club, the rain tickling his bare arms. The woman he had been with was close behind, breathing heavily from the excitement that had just occurred, her eyes wide. Demyx, his tight fists at his sides, wheeled around when he got to the car, angry not only at Axel but at how he handled the situation. _Not_ good for his image.

"Demy… who was that guy?" The woman asked, touching the hood of Demyx's dark-blue Escalade lightly. Her fingers trailed along the smooth metal slowly, making shapes in the puddles of rain. Demyx sighed and ran his hand through his hair swiftly, feeling the water droplets cling to his fingers and work their way to his scalp. He felt calm when it rained; liked the feeling of it on his skin. A raindrop hit his nose and he focused on the young woman in front of him.

"No one important, ok?" He turned away from her and shuffled through the pockets of his jeans, trying to find his keys. The woman spoke again, her voice low.

"He said… you guys dated?"

Demyx froze for a split second, his heat skipping a beat, then rushed to continue with his searching frenzy. But the woman had noticed his pause and continued.

"So it's true." She pulled her arms across her chest, uncomfortable. "Did you… were you…" She took a deep breath. "…intimate?"

Demyx, who had found his keys, felt like he was about to make himself a new digit, he was squeezing them so hard. He tried to breathe: _In through your nose, out through your mouth_._ Oh fuck…that shit never worked._ Instead, he focused on a single droplet on rain that was sliding down the window in his car. He followed it almost all the way down the window when she spoke again.

"Were you?"

He grimaced at the window, seeing his distorted reflection in the glass. It felt…strange, seeing himself like that. "Yeah. We were." He punched the key's unlock button but didn't open the door. The woman sucked in a breath of air.

"Demy… what happened? You never told me you…you were…"

Demyx rested his fingers on the handle, finding the wet metal under his fingertips oddly comforting. "I'm not." He wiped the water off with his fingers. "Thought I was for a while…" He clutched the handle and opened the door widely. "But I'm not."

The woman bit her bottom lip, pushing her short hair back behind her ear with her fingers. Demyx whistled and she looked up. He motioned to the other side of the car and she nodded, then walked to the passenger side and got in. "Demyx—" She started, but was cut off when he raised his hand.

"Look. It's nothing. I thought I was, I'm not. End of story. Got it, baby?" He gripped the steering wheel with one hand, so hard his knuckles were white.

She nodded, but continued. "What did you—" He cut her off again, his sea-green eyes hard.

"I've got a flight back to L.A. in two hours. Let's go kill some time." He twisted the ignition and backed out of the club's parking lot, his face concrete. _Fuck, Axel… Why'd you have to show up?_

His companion looked down at her hands, which were sitting in her lap. She fiddled with her thumbs, trying not to think about that tall red-haired man and Demyx… God, it was hard to forget what happened in the club. She looked over at Demyx, who was staring intently at the road, both hands fixated on the wheel.

"It's not like I just up and decided I wasn't…" He said, taking a right. "I just…it was a gradual process, and then I just knew, like I'd gotten clocked in the face, you hear me?" He glanced over at the woman, to see if she was listening. She nodded, pushing her short brown hair behind her ear. "Like, times were tough with Axel. I could talk to him, true, but it wasn't like… right. I felt shitty, down here—" He pointed to his gut. "Like there were fucking ants crawling inside of me every time I held his hand or he… or he kissed me." He passed for a moment to take a deep breath, and then continued. "It didn't feel right. I think… I think all those feelings I had for him were misinterpreted… which was why, _especially_ why, when the chance for Hollywood came around I had to break it off. I didn't feel right anyway, but the public wouldn't be fucking crazy about me if they found out I was gay."

The woman in the passenger seat shifted slightly, a little uncomfortable. Sure, she had asked, but his explanation was a little too much to soak in. "Why—" her voice cracked and she cleared it, rubbing her neck softly. Demyx stared at her expectantly. "Why didn't you explain that to him?"

Demyx laughed; a sad, soft sound, full of music even though the tension was high. "It's not that easy when it's your best friend, who loves the shit outta you, and you just broke his heart." He paused for a moment as they stopped at a red light. "You see this scar? Right here?" He pointed to his lip, which had a moon-shaped scar below it. She nodded. "That's from the night we broke up. He popped me—right in the face." He smiled, though it was tinged with sadness. "Hurt like a bitch. Blood everywhere." He motioned his hands out, as if to demonstrate, then slammed them back on the wheel. "I guess, I kind of thought that if I broke it off with the Hollywood excuse, we could still be friends. Guess _that_ plan came back and bit me in the ass, huh?" He shook his head. _For sure it did. The sonofabitch popped me again… but, I have to admit… I did deserve it…_ "I just loved him like a brother, and it got blasted out of proportion…totally rocket out into the fucking stars." His voice drifted off into silence.

As the car drove off gain, the woman looked to her right, out the passenger window. The rain was sliding quickly off the glass, leaving clear strips that she could see the outside world in. It flew by so fast, the world…_Sometimes, you can't keep up…Demyx must have felt so lost…like the world was flying by…_ She thought, tracing a line of rain with her finger. A glimpse of green passed by the window, flashing through the cracks of clear glass. She smiled. _Must be what it's like to find your place, seeing that green through all the misty rain…_


	4. I Bruise Like a Banana

When Axel stopped retching over the toilet, he took a long breath. Then another. Then another. The person rubbing his back squeezed his shoulder gently and let go of his hair. There was a shuffling; Axel noticed a pair of black tennis shoes out of the corner of his eyes. The stranger had stood. Axel tried to protest, make some noise, but all that came out of his scorching throat was a wheeze.

"Feeling better?" the stranger asked, shifting his feet. Axel stared at the shoes from his peripheral vision, straining his eyes to see. _Damn_, he thought, reaching up to wipe his mouth, _those shoes are clean._ He stopped wiping lip and let out a laugh, although it sounded more like a hack. _Shoes? Fuck, I really am losing it…_

"Do you need help standing?" The guy asked, shuffling his feet once more. Axel nodded and the stranger pulled him to his feet.

Axel stared down at the guy, wondering how he had gotten into the club. He looked so young, especially with his waved dirty-blonde hair and battered jeans. As the kid's worried blue eyes struck his hard, Axel felt his jaw drop.

_Fuck. He's gorgeous._

The guy smiled and clapped the taller man on the shoulder awkwardly. "Nice to see ya standing. Name's Roxas." Axel forced his jaw shut, smiling tightly.

"Axel."

"Well… nice to meet you, Axel."

Axel bit his lip, closing his eyes again. A full-blown strike of nausea hit his stomach; but not from the scotch.

"You gonna be sick again?" Roxas asked, his hand moving back to Axel's shoulder. Axel shook his head. _The kid's voice matches his face…_ Axel thought, pushing his hair back in a slow, sweeping motion. He nodded. "Do you need a ride home? You look like you've had too much to drink…you really shouldn't be driving…" Roxas took a deep breath and lowered his eyes awkwardly. He wasn't usually so insistent with strangers…But this guy looked like he needed help…Hell, he looked like he needed an entire hospital at his side.

"Yeah… thanks…" Axel coughed. _Wait, what?! What was he doing?!_

Roxas smiled nervously. "C'mon…let's get you out of here."

Axel groaned as they walked and put his hand to his face. "God, I feel like shit…" Roxas braced the redhead's shoulder tighter and led him out of the bathroom, across the dance floor, and out to a silver Mercedes. Roxas gave Axel a slight nudge into the passenger seat before moving to his side of the car.

"Holding up there, Axel?" He asked, turning the ignition.

_Man, did he love the way he said his name._ "Yeah. Thanks for the lift…" He sucked in a breath, his mouth going dry. "…Roxas."

Roxas turned and gave Axel a small smile, his eyes still wary. "No prob." He turned back to the road, but Axel kept staring at him.

_Fuck. He shouldn't be having these feelings right now. Hell, he shouldn't have them ever again. Not after Demyx…_

"Which way?"

"Left. Then a right past Cold Creek."

"Kay."

Axel's mind began to race, trying to follow his booming heart in pace. Axel stammered out a quick question, dying for conversation. Dying to hear his voice. "H-how…how old are you?" _Well, if _that_ wasn't sixth grade._

Roxas laughed softly, his small smile melting Axel's heart. "I know… I look young, huh? …I'm twenty-two." He glanced over at his companion. "You?"

Axel didn't even blink, "Twenty-six." He blurted, his lips tumbling over the syllables. He didn't want to hear anything in the car but Roxas' voice.

Roxas' smile crooked to one side of his mouth. "You said hang a right past… Cold Creek?"

Axel nodded, the realized Roxas was concentrating so hard out the window that he couldn't see his face. "Yeah."

The car turned, lighting up a crowded street of ragged apartment buildings. Axel's heart raced, knowing as soon as the car stopped Roxas would drive away and he wouldn't ever see his face again…He had to stop time, keep this moment frozen…

"What building?"

"D6." Axel said. _Dammit! Why didn't I lie!_

Another turn, then a halt. _Shit._ Axel sighed and reached for the handle—

"Let me help you up, ok? I don't know how well you'll take the stairs…" _Thank God._ Axel thought, staying still. When his door opened and Roxas pulled his out, Axel leaned heavily on his shoulders. God, the kid even smelled good—the perfect combination of salty and sweet clinging to his skin.

"Which apartment?" Roxas asked, shifting his weight; Axel eased a little off of his shoulder.

"2nd floor. 208." Roxas nodded and the pair wobbled up the stairs and to Axel's door, where they stood awkwardly for a moment while the redhead fumbled for his keys. After the two stumbled in and Roxas dropped Axel onto a well-worn sofa, he nodded to the older man's face.

"You need ice for that swollen cheek you're sporting?"

Axel nodded, wincing a little as his jaw set back in place. "Right there in the kitchen… Just grab whatever. I'm not sure if I have ice."

Roxas' lips stretched into a thin, strained smile. "Right." He moved his hand to the back of his neck as he walked into the small kitchen, massaging the shoulder that Axel had leaned on. Tugging the freezer door open with a grunt, he scanned quickly for an ice pack. Seeing nothing but wisps of cold air and a few frozen waffles, he pulled out a waffle and wrapped a wrinkled paper towel around it before heading back out into the living room. Axel had his hands over his face, his long torso curving over his knees as he massaged his temples. Roxas cleared his throat, brandishing the wrapped waffle when the redhead looked up.

Axel took it, his face emotionless. "Thanks."

Roxas sat down next to his companion, unsure of what to say or do. He wasn't quite comfortable leaving the man, considering how drunk and lonely he looked, but it wasn't the best feeling being around him either. "Uhh… so… how _did_ that…" the blonde motioned to Axel's swollen cheek. "happen?"

Axel grimaced, pressing the waffle softly to his face. "Got hit."

"Well, no _dur_." Roxas sighed, pushing a loose clump of hair out of his eyes. "But, uh… who did it?"

Axel stiffened slightly. _What if he's not… what if I tell him, and he doesn't… fuck, say _something_ you idiot! _"Ran into a door." The words tumbled out of his mouth, slurring together from the mixture of alcohol and embarrassment at hesitating.

Roxas nodded slowly, disbelieving. "Ok. And, uh… _how_ big was this door?" He smiled when Axel snorted, a smile creeping up on his lips where they weren't obscured by the paper towel. "Must've been a big one, considering that bruise you're getting."

Axel smiled genuinely. "Yeah, you'd be surprised… I bruise like a banana."


	5. Starting to Wilt

Disclaimer: I don't own these people. They are Square Enix/ Disney. So yeah. Sorry for taking so long to update, anxious readers! ;;

The crowd roared as Demyx slid backstage for a breather, panting slightly and sweating bullets. It was hot up there, with the neon lights flashing and the stagnant heat from the sardine-packed audience rolling through the air. He grabbed a water bottle from an unknown, outstretched hand and drained it, greedily grabbing another as he slid off his guitar strap.

"Demy!" one of his guys yelled, motioning for him to move quicker. "You got…" the man glanced at his watch, "a minute before the next set!" Demyx nodded and downed the bottle, passing it off to another set of unknown hands before grabbing his '67 Les Paul (black on blue) and jogging onstage. As the crowd went wild, their movements caught in-between the lights, Demyx smiled.

_This is it_, he thought, grabbing the mic with both hands and resting his lips on it.

_This is _really_, fucking it._

He took a deep breath and the crowd screamed, all expecting their favorite song to play. He laughed and pulled his guitar to his chest; someone from backstage rushed forward to plug him into the large Marshall Fullstack behind him.

"People." He whispered into the mic, his lips brushing the wire top in a kiss. The first ten rows of seats grew relatively silent, their occupants standing, jumping, rolling like waves, trying to hear the blonde bombshell on stage.

Demyx began to play, the melody on his guitar jumping from low Gs to high Cs, the notes flowing together in a soothing dirge. The bass joined in, its low, slow beat gaining momentum as the drummer kicked his bass drum. Demyx grinned at the crowd before him.

:We're gonna play something you've never heard before." He bit his lip and slammed a riff on his guitar, bending his knees as the music travelled through him. The audience roared, pumping their hands in the air, thousand of hand gestures piercing the stagnant air. Settling down, he continued playing simple, melodic notes and spoke into the mic, his voice growing softer, gaining an edge. "I'm not gonna say 'I hope you like it', cause I really don't fucking care if you do or not." The crowed yelled in approval, whistles and hoarse screams echoing through the amphitheater. Demyx closed his eyes and licked his lips, feeling his chest swell from the energy around him. The bass behind him kicked through his body, threatening to collapse his knees. "It's called 'Losing Heaven'…" He smiled. "And here-we-go!"

His guitar exploded in a chorus of swells, moving through his arms and legs to his heart, the waves and jumps of the guitar line boiling his blood and electrifying his brain. The bass followed suit, pounding out a line of minor chords that orchestrated perfectly with Demyx's blue Les Paul. The drummer imitated the guitar's rhythm, crashing on the set with dynamic force.

"My eyes grow weary, close me up tight

Angels sing their sorrow through the cool November night,

I wish you were here

Because each moment without you I feel

Less and less alive."

Demyx's soft tenor voice split through thick guitar solo, his long, emotional note evolving into a passionate yell. The crown before him grew wild, flailing their arms toward him, grasping at thin air, screeching his name. The guitar lessening and the drums entered, crashing through with a forceful beat.

"Still I don't want to remember

The last few days of cold and gray November

Cause the angels took you from my closing arms

And left me standing all by myself

Crashing from the inside out."

The music stopped suddenly, and Demyx pulled the mic to his body, resting his lips on it, eyes closed. He began to whisper into the mic; the crowd leaning forward to hear his words.

"But I wanted to let you go, didn't I?

I pushed you to the angels and watched you fly

That feeling of misery swelling in my chest

Now I've come to realize, baby…"

Demyx opened his eyes and smiled, wrapping his fingers around the mic's body.

"Losing heaven's better than losing your virginity."

Backstage, after the show, Demyx sat on a couch with his head in his hands. Saix, his drummer, lit a cigarette and lazily blew a smoke ring before muttering to his band-mate:

"You look fucked up, man."

Demyx lifted his head and gave him a flashy, sideways smile, "Don't I always?" Saix grunted and took another drag of his cancer-stick, softly rubbing the center of the large x-shaped scar on his face (Don't ask, happened in a…concert experiment, something to do with fireworks and dry ice).

"Hey Zexion- doesn't he look fucked up?"

Zexion, the bassist, shrugged and continued tuning his instrument. "I mean, more than usual, y'know?" Saix continued, his cigarette bobbing on his lip. Zexion looked up through his heavy bangs, trying to judge Demyx's reaction. Demyx just grinned, pushed his hair out of his eyes, and rested his elbow on the arm of the couch. Zexion turned to Saix.

"He seems fine to me."

Saix huffed and snuffed his cigarette; the crushed mass lay smoking in the tray. "Whatever. He just—never mind."

Demyx rolled his eyes. "Saix, man, I just got a lot on my mind, true?" Saix sighed and nodded, understanding.

"We all can relate to that, bro, but you got to talk to us. Whatever the fuck is up in your head, we can fix it."

Demyx grabbed a soda from the coffee table in front of him and swirled it, judging how much was left. "I don't think I'll ever let you near my brain, Saix," he took a sip and smiled "you could, like, lobotomize some important stuff."

Saix squinted for a moment, concentrating on defining Demyx's sentence. Demyx just took another swig of his flat soda and sighed.

"You don't want to know what's in my head, man. There's a _shitload_ of stuff in there. It's fucking crazy."

Saix avoided eye contact with the blonde, lighting up another cigarette. Zexion ignored his band-mates, finishing up the fine-tuning on his bass guitar. It flashed a sliver of light on the ceiling of the darkening room, illuminating the area next to Demyx. He looked over and grimaced, feeling as if his life was hitting that 180 point again, like last month, with Axel. He _really_ didn't want that with these guys, he needed them to survive now.

"Look, guys, I'm sorry. Didn't mean that. I'm fine. Let's just get outta here, ok? I feel like getting some food."

Saix shrugged, punching his cigarette into the ashtray. "Cool with me. You comin', Zex?"

Zexion shrugged, laying his bass tenderly in its case. "Yeah, why not?"


	6. But, He's So Helpless

I don't own the Kingdom Hearts II characters... other people do. Please review, guys! Oh, and there's a surprise for you at the bottom...heh

Roxas didn't know what to think. He felt like everything was spinning out of control, like his life had charged down an unknown fork in the road when he wasn't looking. Just a few hours ago, he was in the club with his friends—

Crap.

His eyes shot open and he fumbled for his phone. It wasn't in his pocket, so he patted the couch's cushions, thinking it had fallen out somewhere in the dilapidated seat…

The redhead next to him snorted slightly in his sleep. Roxas paused in his frantic search, taking a quick look at the man. It was weird, this whole situation… He doubted anyone even knew where he was at the moment, hell, he wasn't entirely sure for himself. Next to him, Axel groaned in his sleep, making a pained face as his cheeks stretched and pulled at his black eye.

_Poor guy…_Roxas thought, returning to patting down the couch for his phone. _I wonder what really happened…_ His hand hit a hard block and he smiled; he pulled his phone from behind one of the flattened pillows lining the back of the sagging couch. Palming it, he slid it open and quickly dialed, standing. Roxas tiptoed to the apartment's door, carefully pulling it open as the phone to his ear began to ring. He slipped outside just as a frantic voice cut through the ringing.

"Roxas! We've been looking for you! Are you ok? Where are you? We've been so worried, when you didn't co-"

"Namine-I-" Roxas tried to interject, keeping his voice level.

"-me back from the bath-"

"-just went to take some-"

"-room and we just didn't know what-"

"-one home." Roxas stopped.

"-happened." The girl finished, taking a big breath.

"Sorry, what?" Both of them asked, pushing their phones tighter to their ears. Roxas sighed.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you for an _hour_! Sora and Kairi actually left the club, thinking you'd been taken or something… Where _are_ you?" Namine asked, her voice squeaking a bit as she grew anxious.

"I'm fine-I took someone home. I'll be back as soon as I can. I just…I don't think I can leave this guy alone."

Roxas heard his girlfriend sigh. It sounded scratchy over the bad connection, but he thought he heard a tinge of anger. "I'm just worried, you know? Do you even know this guy? This isn't like you, leaving without telling us…"

Roxas' mind went into overdrive. "Yeah, I know him. Kind of. Not well, but I do."

Namine, skeptical, sighed again. "Just…come home soon. I'll wait up for you, alright? I have…" She stopped for a moment, and Roxas heard her talking in the background to one of their friends. "…I'm gonna go. Everybody will be over when you get back, ok? They want to make sure you're ok."

Roxas tried to swallow the lump that was developing in his throat. "Kay. Love you."

"Love you too-see you soon. Drive safe." Roxas slid his phone shut, ending the call, and closed his eyes. Rubbing his temples, he wondered why he had lied, why he was even at this stranger's apartment in the middle of nowhere… Everything felt topsy-turvy… Like a merry-go-round gone berserk.

He shook his head and looked at the stairs, tempted to just leave; go home, forget about the redheaded man sleeping on the couch, and step into Namine's arms… He wanted to make her feel better about him leaving, assure her he was ok, look into her eyes and tell her he'd never do anything like that again.

He was so ready to just walk down those stairs and go.

But… He couldn't. It wouldn't be right, leaving this guy all alone… Especially in the condition he was in… He opened the door softly and tiptoed in. He couldn't explain it, but something deep inside himself, deeper than his mind could see, was tugging him back inside. He _needed_ to help Axel, with all that he had to give. It was what was _right_. _I'm _not_ going to leave someone when they need me._ He thought, shutting the door. _I'm not like that._

He looked from the closed door to the couch, seeing that Axel had stretched over the entire body of the sofa, using Roxas' jacket as a pillow. He was snoring contently, but under his pale closed eyelids his eyes were darting back and forth, a nightmare raging through his head.

Roxas looked around for a place to sit and wait. Finding none, he settled against the bar and watched the strange man across from him battle his nightmares.

Below is a preview for next chappie. I'm not sure if I want to use it. The idea just burst in my head, so review it for me and I'll continue on if you guys agree. Yes, yes, Aniu. OOC Demyx. It's how he is in my head lol. Sorry babe. ;; But, I gave you something you might enjoy…

Demyx stared at his reflection, disgusted by what he saw. He was pale; his eyes, sunken in, were bordered by dark circles, and his lips were raw and chapped. The color of his irises mirrored his skin: they were dangerously close to lifeless. He slammed his hand against the counter in front of him, flinching at the pain that rippled from his wrist bone to his elbow. He did it again, just to feel the sting.

His arms began to quake, threatening his hold on the counter with shakes from his shoulders down, worsening at his elbow joints. A chill rushed through his body, weakening his knees. He tried to brace himself, weakly grabbing onto the smooth edge of the counter's top, but slipped, his head falling below the counter's edge so he was bent at the waist.

A cough attacked his throat, throwing his lungs against his ribcage over and over, his throat burning with each hoarse breath.

He let his hands leave the counter and he fell to the floor, hugging himself as shivers rocked his frame.

"Demyx." A calm voice broke the chilly silence and a soft touch stilled his quaking shoulder. "Saix was right. You need help."

Demyx closed his pale eyes. "This is nothing, Zexion. Just…" he trailed off as another cough threatened to burst his lungs, the sound echoing through the bathroom.

Zexion crouched next to his friend and shook his head, his eyes half-closed. "Doesn't seem like 'nothing', Demy. I want you to stand. If you can stand, you're alright."

Demyx raised his gaze to his band-mate's violet stare, his face contorting into a grimace. "I…" He dropped his gaze to the floor as another spasm overtook his frame, the cough raging at his throat like a forest fire. "I can't…"


	7. Right?

Axel's eyes fluttered open as he woke, his mouth loose and dropping to his chin. His head… it felt like a thousand drums were beating behind his temples, all to the beat of a different song. He could see the light of his apartment—at least, he _thought_ he was in his apartment—behind his eyelids, the red tint furthering his headache and causing him to grimace. Pain flashed white through his vision and he stopped breathing for a moment—he fingered his eye, where…

Demyx. Demyx had hit him.

The night rushed back to Axel like an electric shock; the fight, the bathroom, Roxas…

Oh, God, Roxas.

Axel's eyes shot open and, ignoring his blinding headache, he looked helplessly around for the young man. He saw him nestled against the bar, head relaxed against his shoulder, his breath coming in slow, rhythmic movements. Axel couldn't help but notice the small push and pull Roxas' chest had upon his shirt as he breathed; the fabric seemed to come alive with every small breath. Axel's eyes travelled up to the young man's face, catching on his lips.

Axel's stomach knotted as a mixture of desire and his hangover swept through his body; he closed his eyes and looked away from the blonde's slightly-parted lips. He couldn't, he just _couldn't_ feel this way. Not now. Not ever. Not after Demyx.

Still, he opened one eye and returned to staring at the man on his floor, knowing that he had to wake him up, but dreading that he had to.

*

Demyx stared at his reflection, disgusted by what he saw. He was pale; his eyes, sunken in, were bordered by dark circles, and his lips were raw and chapped. The color of his irises mirrored his skin: they were dangerously close to lifeless. He slammed his hand against the counter in front of him, flinching at the pain that rippled from his wrist bone to his elbow. He did it again, just to feel the sting.

His arms began to quake, threatening his hold on the counter with shakes from his shoulders down, worsening at his elbow joints. A chill rushed through his body, weakening his knees. He tried to brace himself, weakly grabbing onto the smooth edge of the counter's top, but slipped, his head falling below the counter's edge so he was bent at the waist.

A cough attacked his throat, throwing his lungs against his ribcage over and over, his throat burning with each hoarse breath.

He let his hands leave the counter and he fell to the floor, hugging himself as shivers rocked his frame.

"Demyx." A calm voice broke the chilly silence and a soft touch stilled his quaking shoulder. "Saix was right. You need help."

Demyx closed his pale eyes. "This is nothing, Zexion. Just…" he trailed off as another cough threatened to burst his lungs, the sound echoing through the bathroom.

Zexion crouched next to his friend and shook his head, his eyes half-closed. "Doesn't seem like 'nothing', Demy. I want you to stand. If you can stand, you're alright."

Demyx raised his gaze to his band-mate's violet stare, his face contorting into a grimace. "I…" He dropped his gaze to the floor as another spasm overtook his frame, the cough raging at his throat like a forest fire. "I can't…"

Zexion helped the blonde up, pulling him into an embrace. There were no words from either of the two men as they stood there, one leaning upon the other, each knowing that as soon as this precious contact was over it would be forgotten, left to rot beneath the carpet.

It was Zexion who broke the hug, stabilizing Demyx with surprisingly powerful arms. Neither of them smiled; and in the stronger man's eyes there was sadness, where in the other there were only tears.

*

He was surrounded by haze, the gray swirls licking at his feet like smoke to the sky, wrapping around his ankles hungrily. He tried to kick them off but the wisps hung there, clinging to his feet, bringing them down with a deadweight force.

Sinking feeling. No, not feeling. Reality. The force below pulls at him like quicksand, dragging him to the bottom of the gray ocean.

_Is there a bottom, even?_ He thinks, waving his arms through the smoke. No. Only more of the choking gray.

Voices, in the distance, calling his name; louder and louder they spoke, until something broke through the smoky abyss. His head is nearly under—

"Roxas!"

He jerked awake, bonking his head on the bar wall. "Ow…" He complained, bringing his hand to the back of his head. His watch caught light from the kitchen and glared in his face, as if to remind him how late he was out. Roxas blinked away the sleep and shock from the light, looking at the redhead before him.

He was on his knees in front of the blonde, head cocked slightly to the right. His eye, although not as swollen as it was when they had left the club, was still a palette of deep blues and purples. The bruise only managed to make the electric green of his eyes stand out more against his fair skin.

Roxas shook his head. He shouldn't be noticing things like that.

"Uhh… hi." The blonde said, smiling crookedly at the man before him.

"How's your head?" Axel sat back on his haunches and put his fingers to his forehead. "Looked like it hurt. What were you dreaming about? You were mumbling something."

"Huh? Oh. Nothing. I'm ok. You—"

A knock on the door interrupted the blonde, causing both of the men to look over.

"Axel. It's Zexion. I've got to talk to you. Open up."

Axel's nose twitched as a scowl flirted on his lips. Zexion. Part of Demyx's group. One of the friends to disappear from Axel's life once the relationship had ended, and the band had gotten its big break. "Go the _fuck_ away, Zexion. I'm busy…" Turning back to Roxas, he saw the blonde shake his head.

"It's ok. I should be going soon anyway… Namine is waiting up…"

"No!" Axel croaked, ignoring the continued ranting from Zexion outside the apartment. "He doesn't matter. He's not a friend." His green eyes were almost pleading the young man to stay.

"Axel… It's about Demyx. Let me in, or I'll open this door myself."

Axel's heart stopped and, for a moment, he completely forgot Roxas was there, hovering between staying in the apartment and disappearing from the redhead's life forever.

Zexion wouldn't have come unless Demyx was in a lot of trouble, right?


End file.
